I breath
because I have to
oxygen breaths life into my cells


I feel
to remind myself
that Im not dead yet

I laugh
for release
from the bitterness
I've come to know too well

I cry
usually
to get a reaction
I haven't been able to get
any other way

and they say I'm too numb
to feel anything that deeply

I dance
to forget
that my life is fucked
and Im the one to blame

I smile
to be polite
or to reassure
someone else
that Im okay

I lie
to myself and others
so that no one
knows the truth
about how view the world
and every one in it

I write
to release
the thoughts
I can't seem to share
with anyone else

And they say that
I "have issues"

I live
because Iam curious
to see what I can fuck up
next

I sing
because I can't
and it bugs the fuck
out of people

I get high
because its my
escape
the one thing
no one can tell me
how to do better

and they say I'm in denial

I feel
to remind myself
that Im not dead yet

But with every day
every hour every minute
every second that passes
the same as the one before

I GET A LITTLE FUCKING CLOSER
TO
THE VERY FUCKING END
OF
THIS FUCKED UP THING
THAT
WE'VE COME TO KNOW AS LIFE.....

and they say
I've got to learn to express myself

its funny
because no one ever said
that god had suck a sick
sense of humor
in bible study class

but they say I
should have paid more attention