you

you make me furious

not
a quick rage
that flares in my eyes
and dissipates
but with slow
smoldering
intensity
that rises in my stomach
warms my blood
and makes
me
determined
to upstage you...

the way
you narrow your eyes
the way you
look
at
me
so presumptuous
so holier-than-thou...
always
surrounded
by your giggling
fan club
always
parked in the back
of that misery
called high school
so no one notices
when you sneak
in
late...

remind me again
why
you're better than me?

oh
that's right

because
you're
so
popular

i
get it now...

well, we'll see
when the reunion rolls around
and we meet
again
you
a baby on your hip
bandana in your hair
a soccer mom
like your mother before you
who also sneered
at the truly original...
or
perhaps
you'll be
a businessman
weary of your cubicle
rich
but bored
life stretching in front of you
as tempting as a desert
inspiring
as a textbook
and
as
drab

i will see you
almost
wave
as i shake my head
and turn away

see
while you
were building up your self esteem
with wild parties
sex
and alcohol

i
was working through
my demons
instead
of
shutting them away

my art
my music
my poetry
outlets
for those secretive emotions
the feelings
you
never felt free
to have...

yes
right now
you make me furious
but
i know
i'll pity you

because, you see
i'll know
you had feelings
like mine
you has nights
you wished
you
were
dead

people
who broke your heart
and destroyed you
people
who pieced you
together again
only
to
burn you more...

and you
you were perfect
you had to wear
that mask
of all right
and act like you
were better than me
as you drank
your way
to liberty
or fucked
your way
to almost feeling whole

so perhaps
right now
you infuriate me
as you raise your brow
snicker
and walk by
brushing me
aside
as if that is an honor
as if
i should thank you
for the privilege of standing in your way

but i
at least
can let is go
and smile
and move on

the whole world stretches before me
glowing and powerful
there is poetry
to be seen
life
to be savored
and impossible things
to be seen
and believed

i have before me
a life worth living

while
yours
will end
here

in the stark
white
hallways
of a high school