in silence i ambulate
in silence i create
a world with only me
a world without catastrophe
where i can be free

in silence i invent
in silence without consent
a world with color all around
a world where i am not bound
where i cannot be found

in the quiet i meander
in the quiet i wish to candor
a home that is not a home
rooms are full but im alone
where happiness is not prone

in the quiet my reflexes slow
in the quiet the boat in my mind can row
a home slowly poisoning my mind and soul
where my mood is black as coal

in the chaos i lose control, my power is gone
in the chaos i bow to the queen for i am a pawn
mirages of my world dissipate
visions of happiness i can no longer create
because this place is no home, but a residence of hate and pain

in the chaos ive lost it all, have nothing, am nothing, all order is to cease existing
i plead for someone, something, and somewhere that is kind
only so long before i am drained, cannot regenerate until ive lost humanity,
gained insanity
until ive lost my mind