Don't Read This If You Were Expecting Me To Be Serious

You told your parents for Christmas you so wanted a puppy,
but like they said like you had to like show some more like responsibility first?
Knowing yourself that was like impossible as the drugs,
alcohol, partying, and boys were too hard to resist.
You decided you were tired of waiting and put them all together
gifting yourself proof of responsibility, a baby. (You go girlfriend)
Your parents totally disagreed though and were like,
so harsh disowning you and crap.
It's fine though you can stay with your baby daddy
but baby daddy has a fucking whore girlfriend before you and she needs to step off.
Did he ever not wear a fucking condom with her i dun think so
so you were so right when you like ripped out dat crazy ass weave
That night though she climbed through your thinger, you know the one that is glass,
and cut your like stomach open and like ate your alien thing...
You were all sad and like were crying and like bleeding and stuff...
Then you like saw that shiny thingamig and were like, I'll just go kill myself..
So you did and like... Yeah...
She won though and got your man back, fucking whore,
I hope you don't mind, but i slept with him too...
He wasn't that good in bed,
You could of done a lot better...
And your baby would of been ugly anyways
Don't know why you were so upset...
Suicide is so 2011
2012 is on its way bitch get with the program...
Then again you died before the rest of us so your like sixty years ahead of it...
Haha burnnnnnnn, girl I wish you were here so we could do that hand sizzle thing.
Whatever peace :p