These Thoughts of Mine

 So I let out a sigh, and put away the bottle of pills.

You know I'm not chasing after any buzz or cheap thrills.

It just seems like quite awhile since I've had any peace of mind.

Everything is stuck on overdrive and the gears they all grind.

There's not that much I'm wanting just a little human compassion.

I don't see too much of that these days like it was yesterday's fad or a fashion.

I've been serving my time right here in isolation on this island called self,

and I can't help but ponder how long it takes to expire on this shelf.

You see coming up as a kid I really didn't get touched all that much,

so it seems only natural that I desire to be wanted, loved, n such.

It doesn't make any difference if you've got all the love in the world to give,

when the one who stole your affection decides to become unreceptive.

Temporary or not that's now become expleted, deleted in a scrupulous manner,

and I'm gettin kinda tired of pounding nails with my head as the hammer.

So I take a step back to catch my breath and try to level this out,

It takes a lot of conscious energy to eliminate my worries, fears, and doubt.

And amidst the chaos there's a fraction of a moment so clear,

and it's up for me to find if it's an illusion or what it appears.

This waiting game is killing me but I can only take it one day at a time.

I'll just let the pieces assemble themselves disregarding reason and rhyme.

There's no way to judge this handiwork it's impossible for man to comprehend.

It's the truth that every new beginning came from some other beginnings' end,

and in this dark I'll find my light because there is no other way,

there's no harm in wishing it includes you and for that I will pray,

and if it all falls apart and I'm the one left to pay

I won't hold a grudge because I have big plans for myself what more can I say?