farewell Carmalitta
By alex herewane
The lines are being stolen by babes in arms, small droplets of blood fall
from their nostrils, knowledge contains so much pain, suction entombs my
sleepy ears,
farewell Carmalitta I'm too tired to fight and I must
go find somewhere I can hear the quite
In the light greyness of twilight
you have become someone else,these walls keep falling these walls are my
heart, these dirty walls hold secrets that dissolve all faith, I'm
melting Carmalitta are you melting too, afraid of the daylight, exissting
to breathe
farewell Carmalitta my mind is on fire and I really must
leave
It's going to take more than time to open these eyes, crying
is for cowards, it's going to take more than tears, tuonela, in the fearce
winds of hades, you die from the inside a little at a time, you wake in
the morning but you wake in fright, follow me down Carmalitta the angels
are frowning, confused by fear, farewell Carmalitta I'm lost in the dark
with nobody near
Tango like steps and bullets that bark, Vallentino
is in danger as he stares at the dead
and he screams all your lovers
can't protect you, as the cops they move him on, Carmalitta whispers I
am not the women that made you feel this, but I wish I was.
and the
young man spits fire and the young man spits rage and the young man lays
down words tender and vague and the old man slips away cause thats the
way it is
just ask Jesus before he fades, farewell Carmalitta the
sky is erupting and I must move on.
Author's Note:
playing with an old songComments on "farewell Carmalitta"
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A former member wrote:
absolutely magnificent alex.. this is a true masterpiece. my emotions overwhelm when I read your words like this.
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On Thursday, January 6, 2011, Corinthian
(306) wrote:
I rarely read novellas , as I seem to have Adhd and lose interest , but I really enjoyed this there are so many extraordinary lines here , I stayed interested all throughout Love the fierce winds of hades...after all ...I am persephone , realy nice job
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On Thursday, December 23, 2010, Malcholm Dark
(806) wrote:
Farewell Carmalitta... a brilliant write here, so very good... great last line... write on
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A former member wrote:
I really liked this. I want to move these words, though, ya know.... like they move. The anaphora was superb but buried, perhaps not quite what it could be, cramped in prose, as it were.... the reference to Tuonela.... the repetition, the tender voice noting the loss... the question at the end..... such beautiful fading..... an exquisite farewell, indeed. *bows*
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On Tuesday, December 28, 2010, alex herewane
(149) wrote:
feel free to move what you want, I basically don't have a lot of time so I generally just write without too much thought given to structure. If anyone could present this in a better format I'm sure it would be you, thanks for reading!