This Is NOT Fate

I know you don't care,
You're completely unaware,
Of what you've done to me while you were there.

You made me cry,
Made me fall,
You wouldn't even give me the chance to stand at all.

The pain,
The lust,
The torture you inflicted . . .

Was all a waste; for now I'm conflicted.

I want to forget,
To leave,
To scream.

I want to cry,
To die,
To plead.

But I can't get rid of this need,
This fear!

That when I leave,
I'll need you near.

I hate you,
Loathe you,
Want you to die.

Although the wish is sin,
I don't mind paying the price.

I'm done with your shit,
With your abusing words and fists.

I can't stand it anymore,
I want to live!

When you were here,
You forgot . . .

To keep me quiet,
To tie me down.

So now go die,
Go drown in hatred.

While I get up,
This was not fated.