Yet another talk with the school guidance counselor.
"Why did you punch that girl in the face?" he asked me.
"Why did you?" The taunting voice in my head repeats a second before the real person does again.
"Why did you?" the words repeating in my head from so many different people sometimes even myself.
Why did I? I whisper silently afraid to let it out.
My life is like a spinning top slowly slowing down.
But yet someone else has to spin it up making it go faster, faster, faster!
I whisper silently to the teacher pointing at myself "You are the doctor you are suppose to tell me."
Then everything got silent I whispered "I wanted to be noticed..."
He nodded and said "How is this helping you get noticed?"
I repeated myself "You are suppose to tell me."
He sighed and told me to think say what I have bottled up in side.
The pictures in my safe box come rattling out yelling in my mind.
"Why did you?!" most of them scream.
And carefully i sorted them by date and set them on my timeline taping them down and over the mouth so they could no longer talk.
I then i shuffled them up and stuck them back up inside the box where they could not bother me again hiding it under my brains dream world under the pillow.
Then I look up and whisper "I'm sorry..."
And then the man walked out of the room to go talk to my teacher i would guess.
Then I woke up and I smiled I couldn't wait for the next meeting in my mind as I got every night that i did something wrong basically everyday.
I laughed and said "Thanks doc, you do much better than the real thing."
But yet the question still rang in my mind Why did you?