Why did I?

Yet another talk with the school guidance counselor.
"Why did you punch that girl in the face?" he asked me.
"Why did you?" The taunting voice in my head repeats a second before the real person does again.
"Why did you?" the words repeating in my head from so many different people sometimes even myself.
Why did I? I whisper silently afraid to let it out.
My life is like a spinning top slowly slowing down.
But yet someone else has to spin it up making it go faster, faster, faster!
I whisper silently to the teacher pointing at myself "You are the doctor you are suppose to tell me."
Then everything got silent I whispered "I wanted to be noticed..."
He nodded and said "How is this helping you get noticed?"
I repeated myself "You are suppose to tell me."
He sighed and told me to think say what I have bottled up in side.
The pictures in my safe box come rattling out yelling in my mind.
"Why did you?!" most of them scream.
And carefully i sorted them by date and set them on my timeline taping them down and over the mouth so they could no longer talk.
I then i shuffled them up and stuck them back up inside the box where they could not bother me again hiding it under my brains dream world under the pillow.
Then I look up and whisper "I'm sorry..."
And then the man walked out of the room to go talk to my teacher i would guess.
Then I woke up and I smiled I couldn't wait for the next meeting in my mind as I got every night that i did something wrong basically everyday.
I laughed and said "Thanks doc, you do much better than the real thing."
But yet the question still rang in my mind Why did you?