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Darkness
By Foreverlost28
The smoldering fire
Burns Through Your Soul
It Caresses your ashes
It Deepens the hole
And deep inside it
A storm of black appear
Its nothing you can touch
There is nothing to hear
It overtakes your body
Pounding in your head
Brutally murdering
Your blood being shed
There is no light to reach for
There is no help to come
There is nothing to hold onto
There is no where to run
It begins to swallow you
Clearing up this mess
And that is what it feels like
To enter the DARKNESS
Unauthorized Copying Is Prohibited.
Ask the author first.
© 2009 lttlemissboricua
Comments on "Darkness"
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A former member wrote:
"And deep inside it
A storm of black appear
Its nothing you can touch
There is nothing to hear"
This is an dark and appealing line
Your whole piece had a black mastery and magnificence!
Continue Rendering!
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On Thursday, April 9, 2009, ebonyamore
(101)
wrote:
An english teacher once warned me that writing in a rhymed and cadenced format could be tricky because of the tendency to throw in extraneous words, just to please the ear with the continuity of the rhythm. He reminded me of Mark Twain's famous quip that the difference between the right word and the almost right word is the difference between lightning and the lightning bug. Your words are ALL right words. This is a terrific piece and a testament to the fact that non free-verse poetry isn't a dying art. Bravo!!!
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A former member wrote:
An honest appraisal in metaphoric form...welcome:)
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