"Yearning"

hooked
lost
torn
is it right?
to pursue that which by all standards is beyond you
beyond itself
is it right by me to pursue such fantasy
to live life in search of that ever waining could be
should be
if past attempts hold true
one iota of value
it's that I
the adorable
admirable
and infallible
shall forever seek the unattainable
be it love
life
or the idea of
such things seem irrefutable
irreputable
in this
the life I chose
and who's fault be it but mine
that us
we
you and me
could be
should be
would be
nothing more than fantasy
for it's these whims
words
and willful acts that draw me to us
hope to trust
living for me
misunderstood
in this
my apathy
for life
love
and honesty...

I dont sleep to much anymore