Comments by All Members
- "In the third stanza, the middle two lines just drag a bit because the meter is a little off. A suggestion/example of perfect iambic pentameter- line 3 in that stanza could be 'Unhappy with the bounty that is his' "
Posted by Unknown on "The Cautious Man - Sonnet 4" by Delphoid-Q
- "Well, this is the first of your four that I would call a sonnet, the rhyme scheme in the others was right, but I guess you found out about meter for this one? Being somewhat critical I know-"
Posted by Unknown on "The Cautious Man - Sonnet 4" by Delphoid-Q
- "i adored this work, beautifully rhymed and assembled, really placed you in the scene with its great descriptions"
Posted by Anth on "The Forest" by Delphoid-Q
- "*grins* perfect meter, rhyme and verse...just as tradition would have it and I am impressed and delighted to have been witness :) i'm a sucker for faerytales"
Posted by Solace on "The Faerie Green" by Delphoid-Q
- "The most beautiful, eloquent array of images. Such excellence woven, this is going to my favourites. The magic dancing . . small glows striking flowers and illuminating skies . . such a triumph . . a tremendous, beautiful work. "
Posted by Unknown on "The Faerie Green" by Delphoid-Q
- "Too few ppl criticise on this site for my liking, so I enjoy it when someone is honest and helps me improve. It refers to both the seaman and his comrades, btw..."
Posted by Delphoid-Q on "Shore Side Reverie" by Delphoid-Q
- "sounds better. glad my criticism, to your credit, was taken constructively, as i meant it to be taken. valid assertion as well; meaning shouldn't be compromised for style. also, in 3rd stnz. does "made one" refer to comrades or days?"
Posted by Unknown on "Shore Side Reverie" by Delphoid-Q
- "wow...i love it when a poem expresses what i would like to say but cannot for whatever reason. check out poem"excuses" by Bukowski. your poem-the first stanza is brilliant and the end(your fragile parts exposed) is quite a punch of eloquence. your many co"
Posted by Unknown on "The Cautious Man - Sonnet 4" by Delphoid-Q
- "in terms of the style and the linguistic level of this piece. Thanx again for reading and helping me improve my poetry. You’re becoming one of my favs too ;)"
Posted by Delphoid-Q on "Shore Side Reverie" by Delphoid-Q
- "Thank you for the crit... The repetition of the 'upon' I must admit I hadn't noticed and will change when I think of an alternative. However, although a contraction might smooth out the 3rd stanza a bit, I consider the 'who have' to be more fitting both"
Posted by Delphoid-Q on "Shore Side Reverie" by Delphoid-Q
- "1st stanza is strong, the two upons in 2nd bothered me...and i think a who've at the end of 3 sounds better. not to be 2 critical...your one of my favorite poets here, and i really like the idea here!"
Posted by Unknown on "Shore Side Reverie" by Delphoid-Q
- "this one has such a great ending, love the fairy tell feel that punches with environmental force and shows man's growing farce!"
Posted by Unknown on "The Forest" by Delphoid-Q
- "Thank you. It's always good to know that people connect with your art... I think that's a very good idea. If anyone has any abstract nouns they wish me to do, suggest away ;)"
Posted by Delphoid-Q on "Haikus" by Delphoid-Q
- "sublime zen that harkens back Naruda in my consciousness. we think alike, my friend; our thoughts are met in heart and pen. enjoyed them. do one about hate, perhaps?"
Posted by Unknown on "Haikus" by Delphoid-Q
- "shakespearean yet existential. I can identify.nice. by the way, the girl from 7 haikus was one of unrequitted love, we broke up a month later.hehe thanks for the comments"
Posted by Unknown on "The Truest Love - Sonnet 2" by Delphoid-Q
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