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"this was a very tasty piece ;)"
Posted by Unknown on "Canvassing Intimacies" by asphyxia

"I really liked the flow of this write and the innocense of the beginning if just overshadowed by the power of out animal instincts at the end.. nice."
Posted by Unknown on "Canvassing Intimacies" by asphyxia

"thoughts *of internal conflict.. oops. I suck.. ha ha.."
Posted by Disassembly Boy on "One Should Not Listen To Bright Eyes [when in this bad of state]" by asphyxia

"the wound right? (that's the only conclusion drawn from this) I read this slow and with ease.. I liked the alternation of seemingly speaking aloud and thoughts internal conflict.. I enjoyed this. "
Posted by Disassembly Boy on "One Should Not Listen To Bright Eyes [when in this bad of state]" by asphyxia

"anyway, no disrespect meant...I'm glad I helped you out in some way over the comments box....and welcome to DP, let's see what others think of this one..."
Posted by The Zebra Warrior on "One Should Not Listen To Bright Eyes [when in this bad of state]" by asphyxia

"it works lyrically like a song...but it actually starts to come across a touch irritating for me....this doesn't really go anyway and the repetition sort of feels like a video machine re-rewinding and then letting go..."
Posted by The Zebra Warrior on "One Should Not Listen To Bright Eyes [when in this bad of state]" by asphyxia

"I think if I had the name of that man...I'd keep it to myself, he'd likely be a jem ;P Welcome to DP A:D."
Posted by Aunty Depressant on "[i see the lies but still trip over them]" by asphyxia

"neat write! i like how well it flows especially with the sound effects like 'pow' and 'swish swash'. thats quite a toughie to pull off real well. and i like how you twist it into a metaphor at the end. "
Posted by evcfenix on "[i see the lies but still trip over them]" by asphyxia

"I really enjoyed everything about this. Every word perfect. The ending killed me.. :) Love it."
Posted by Disassembly Boy on "[i see the lies but still trip over them]" by asphyxia

"Thank you all!"
Posted by asphyxia on "I've been thinking..." by asphyxia

"So so so fucking sweet. :)"
Posted by Unknown on "I've been thinking..." by asphyxia

"the images within this and the way it all comes together for a really cool ending... it's excellent ~db~ "
Posted by birdwell on "I've been thinking..." by asphyxia

"Hehe..love the ending, it put a smile on my face and the whole poem was great. Great flow, language and form. You are indeed a talent to watch! -Carl "
Posted by carlosjackal on "I've been thinking..." by asphyxia

"This is fantastic...there's a futuristic dreamy feel to this with more than just a surreal touch, too. I like!"
Posted by carlosjackal on "Countdown seconds are the longest kind" by asphyxia

"I don't know how I feel about this, I don't think I'm done with it. "
Posted by asphyxia on "Countdown seconds are the longest kind" by asphyxia

"The title perfection, and so sets the flow. Great write! "
Posted by unspeakable truth on "[i see the lies but still trip over them]" by asphyxia

"Wow,this was very rhythmic. "Like it was an option, something to mull over, swish-swash from side to side of my pretty mouth with its black jewels click-clack-clacking against far-from-white" Very clever indeed. Pretty. Welcome to DP.I'll be watching"
Posted by nur hidayah on "[i see the lies but still trip over them]" by asphyxia

"Aww thank you everyone! I'm new to this and am very shy about sharing my work with others who have been around for a while and have much more experience!"
Posted by asphyxia on "[i see the lies but still trip over them]" by asphyxia

"wow.. Seriously enjoyed this.. a well deserved welcome to dp jolene! (we share the same name Im a joleen)"
Posted by prettydisgrace on "[i see the lies but still trip over them]" by asphyxia

"amazing stuff! I love your use of onomatopoeia in this.. welcome!"
Posted by Unknown on "[i see the lies but still trip over them]" by asphyxia

"Very impressive stuff; love the conclusion especially. Insightful and originally expressed; manywelcomes to dp. :)"
Posted by purr_verse on "[i see the lies but still trip over them]" by asphyxia

"Jolene, this was magnificent! A fantastic cascade that has me looking forward to more of your works. Welcome To The Madness Of DP!! -Carl"
Posted by carlosjackal on "[i see the lies but still trip over them]" by asphyxia

"i really liked the ease in which this flows. the title fits so perfectly and is an eye catcher. i loved the whole thing about men being able to lie with ease. welcome to dp"
Posted by dying angel on "[i see the lies but still trip over them]" by asphyxia

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