and.i.think

i'm tracing my fingers along your back again
small circles
from shoulder blades down
because it eases your mind
helps you sleep away your troubles
you always told me so
somewhere in my mind
and yes
even in my heart
i know it's not my place anymore
but old habits do die hard
and this is one i always loved

little boy smiling and twinkling brown eyes
i think you'll always have this hold
this unbreakable bond
that ties you to my soul
i think you might always clutch pieces of me
tight in your hand
never letting go

maybe you should let me go
guilt free
for holding my end of the twine of promise
passed between us one august night
i have loved you
with an eternal flame love
but i want to be happy again

not sitting on the rock
by the pond
alone
still smelling your scent
feeling your touch
the way you always seemed to be touching me
even when i was mad
or you were lost in thought

not laying across a bench
in that grove of trees
with my car doors open
glycerine in the cd player
remembering sweet kisses
and private laughs
tears falling freely
of everything we should have been
together

i wish you were here
just so i could tell you to go
because i feel it's my right
to be the one to say goodbye

and this death grip your smile
your eyes
your voice
this grasp you have on me
i want to be the one to break it
the way you broke my heart
with every lie
(no matter the intention)
with every push
that kept me away

so i think i should stop those circles
and i think i should forget you at 3 am
and i think i should stop loving you
this all consuming way

and i think i could let you go
maybe
maybe this time
i can i let you go