conspiracy within myself
presents itself and lays evidence
on this table made for one
consisting of chipped marble i keep
banging my head against
not even cleaning up the blood gushing
from the concussion i've
given myself since the day of abandonment

must i sabotage the flesh of my soul to drink
my blood from your welcoming mouth?

must i give in to all that is sin to end these
screaming voices of terror that plague me?

my blood tastes best when i draw it

nothing like the scorching
taste of salty mauve fluid draining
from open wounds i created
as darkness pulls itself over my eyes
showing me the light in life
that i once had giving into and feeding
this depression shadowing me
like Goliath handing out no mercy whatsoever

calling my name from the pit of hell
cerberus is wagging his tail
not remembering
yet recognizing
he happily
nibbles
on my
shoe string
welcoming me
back to a place i
call home and will eternally
wallowing in the infinity of desolation


as i become paralyzed by the
sting of scorpio i drift weightless
in the universes heavens that
stretch into this black wormhole of
a heart that manifests itself
within this living carcass my soul
is trapped in for the time being
until i can find death's combination

freeing myself from us

i and me

leaving

you

you who kissed my bloody lips when
the heavens rained mutilated torsos

when you fucked me
(and you fucked me good)
you fucked yourself as well

tell me now who is right and who
is wrong with my foot on your throat?

when you are flat on your back victory
must taste like
a mouthful of malted mothballs

so stuff your face you fucking glutton
gloating on false assumptions
weighing you down to my level in hell
this 66th tier of flames that
crumbles senses of anything and everything
bubbling epidermis popping with
screams drenching my melting face caring not

for me

for myself

for i

mostly
for
you

it is always about you

the natural order is changing

now it's my time

so shut your fucking mouth

and sink with me

to the bottom of our abyss

bleed and smile pretty for the camera