I Do Not...

I wake up restless
My body stiff from painful sleep
Thoughts of him drift into my mind
My open eyes stare straight
But is blind to what I see

I do not sleep
I do not rest

He tells me to follow my heart
I wander around lost
My ears strain to hear the truth
But hear too many things at once
The air lies still around me

I do not listen
I do not believe

My breath comes in short rasps
When he touches me deep inside
But still he lives miles away
The love he gives is true enough
But I rarely notice it's even there

I do not feel
I do not care

My heart is weak and cold
It beats strong, but not strong enough
To fix it would be too hard
To leave it would be too easy
But I leave it and do nothing

I do not love
I do not cry

I sit straight in the dark
My hands are shaking
My breathing is hard
My eyes search for him
My ears listen for a sign

I do not sleep
I do not rest