Kill Me Please, Just End It

Just kill me, please, please end it…
I just don’t want to suffer.
I’m so tired of waking up
To their screams, to their stinging words
And I want to crawl into myself
And never unfold, just wither from within.
And I hurt so bad, I hurt so bad inside
And I’m so tired of empty promises,
Of lying to myself and building myself up
To fall.
HOW COULD I HONESTLY BELIEVE I HAD ANY CHANCES??!
I can’t understand how I can fool myself so much...
First, with the boy I thought was to forever be my soul mate,
I found he has a third to lead around.
And with the living, breathing god that is his brother,
My friend, my sister’s master-
I had forgotten that my lasting love
Means nothing but a game.
And worst of all, to lose communication
With the being that holds all my trust,
All my love,
My brother, my best friend...
I cannot understand
How I could hallucinate and read anything more with him...
And he takes me so much for granted,
Underestimates the importance of our friendship
And I hate to be pushed aside for the sake of his mistresses…
A thousand meaningless whores, and to be shoved out of the way,
Replaced in an instant...
Am I really that worthless?
And to come home again, to this shithole,
And face an angry mother,
And her bloody face,
And her accusations…
I just can’t take this anymore,
So please, please kill me…