I know you’re lying
but your lies are the tallest wall that
reaches higher than the stars and blocks out even the sun from my sight
I literally cannot see past your lies
So I choose to accept them as reality
False as it may be

Your whispers
all duplicitous in nature
soothe me back from unbearable Black to anesthetized Grey
You bury my hurt under new scabs
But then I pick them open
one by one
I always do

I think I’ve pried your thorn-fingers off of me for the last time
but then Grey turns back to Black
and you shove me back down into your cycle of torment

The Black is too much to bear
so I fool myself into believing that
I am the one using you

Using you to numb the world to shades of Grey
because I am horrified of what will happen if I become too familiar with the
Black

HA!

me
using

YOU?

How could I even pretend to believe I could ever get the better of you
when you so obviously have
Dominated me

My body will forever bear your marks
Your claws have ripped open my arms and legs too many times
The scars are so crisscrossed, Jackson Pollock would go dizzy if he passed me on the street

You’re not whispering any more
You are screaming my name

COME HERE, LAZY.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING, WEAK?

UNLOVABLE, JUST PICK ME UP. YOU KNOW YOU’VE BEEN THINKING ABOUT ME ALL DAY.

I CAN HELP YOU STOP FEELING, COWARD.

DON’T YOU WANT TO FORGET FOR JUST A LITTLE WHILE? HUH, PATHETIC?

And I believe you
Because you use my real name
Because you are the only one here
Because you block the sun
Because my world is a Black-Grey teeter-totter
so unrelenting in its brutality that
white has been stamped out of existence
What is white? 
Your tyranny is total
I am alone
I am with you and I am alone
So I will bleed until you stop me from
feeling