Wish

I wish I could feel the happiness my smile portrays
Or feel the genuine joy my laughter seems to say

I wish even on sunny days I wouldn't feel so cloudy
Or have these thoughts that scream so loudly

I wish I wouldn't think so often of dying
Or say I'm fine without lying

I wish there was someone there to talk to me
Or someone to which I could tell everything 

I wish I could take everything in with positivity
Or relearn how to enjoy every little thing

I wish I didn't feel the need to harm myself
Physically or mentally, I think I need help

I wish I could change a lot of things
It's not fun being trapped inside me

I want to breathe the air like I actually feel the need to
Or tear down the disguise nobody can see through

But I'm me and I can't change a thing
And I really can turn to nobody

I'm quite okay with being alone,
Leave flowers at my grave, I dug my own