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"Jaded"
By bluehoney19
Hidden
Deep down
In a splintered web
Empty of shame
It lies
Hungry
Waiting for resurrection
Lowly growling
Gnawing tendrils
Of splintered
Hardened veins
Lurking
For the chance
To feed upon
What it yearns for
Twisitng
Aching
Head splitting rage!!
Vision blackened
Voiceless
pleas
From the mouth of the beast
That lies beneath
It's
eyes the color of jade
Lengthening nails
Of serpent's fangs
One slice
You're done
Satisfaction
It's belly full....
The beast again sleeps
L
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Copyright 2013 bluehoney19
Comments on ""Jaded""
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A former member wrote:
jealousy... it is a monster... not just to the one its focused on but to ourselves as well... great write and keep the lock and key handy.
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A former member wrote:
i love it. it gives character to something emotional, and even better something so common in this day and time. very well done.
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On Wednesday, January 9, 2013, Devilish
(2657)
wrote:
Oh this is absolutely beautiful.. Wow! A brilliant description of jealousy i am in awe.. lol wow. talk about poster perfect.. hello there you and thank you for your comment i appreciate it.
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On Wednesday, January 9, 2013, Poetic-Realm
(258) wrote:
Man I really wish this could have been a bit longer. Theres so many questions I have regarding this beast! Haha. More imagery would have really tied this together nicely, especially at the end. The last stanza seems slightly rushed, but maybe that was your point. To explain hkw quickly we turn jaded from the beast maybe?
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On Wednesday, January 9, 2013, bluehoney19
(12) wrote:
It was actually about the "green eyed" jealousy monster we all face from time to time. How quickly it surfaces and how quickly we must lock it back up lol. I had a moment of rage this morning :-) I really appreciate your input, thank you
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On Wednesday, January 9, 2013, Poetic-Realm
(258) wrote:
Very wise to lock it back up thats for certain! Hahaha. I love the concept and the metaphor here, very gripping other than the snap ending. It just leaves me begging for more, which may not be the case for every reader, but always a good thought to toss around the ol' noggin!
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On Wednesday, January 9, 2013, PoetessDarkly
(700) wrote:
wow this is totally awesome. great imagery. wonderfully dark.
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