Again

I am
shiver shook and crawling skin,
what was once now never is
These tired fingers waver in mote point,
remembering how I killed the ghost
on which I blamed the choice
Toss and turned apprehension in my sleep,
I've been dreaming of dreams that have seeped away
That foolish love rushed bubbles to the surface,
what died violent now forbidden to live
Reeling every minute,
I split the seconds of each three hundred thread
With every bit lip taste
forked pheromones
left slithering down the bathroom sink
Muffled sounds reaching through guilty drums,
"Do you like it,
tell me when you're about to come."
And I am,
I am,
I am
a shell of longing,
now blown away.