Sitting here intoxicated,
x-rated images pass through my
twisted mind slowly. One simple call
I could make would alleviate my needs.
Constraining myself requires every ounce
of willpower i can manage,
from my wrecked and fragile
body, mind and spirit.
Used, abused, and torn down,
i barely stand a chance against
the demands of those voices,
yelling in the back of my mind,
and screaming obsenities.
Requesting depraved acts, holding
my mind hostage, and firing up
socially ill desires, from unnamed places
in my body.

Still I hold out never knowing
if its worth the pain.