Great Balls of FYAH!!!

By Dick_in_my_Ass

Okay, so i was like, totally stoned out of my mind with some of my friends, and we were hanging out in my basement, and my friend jen tells me;
"Dude, Toby, I'll give you ten dollars if you light your balls on fire right now."
So, with the prospect of earning ten bucks and about two bottles of vodka and three joints in my system, i pull down my pants, grab my lighter and FWOOM! balls on fire.
at first it didn't hurt, but then i started feeling the burn (pun intended) and i guess i screamed, and jen freaked out and dumped her glass of vodka all over my nutsack, which didn't help AT ALL. It took like five minutes to put it out, and the hair has never grown back..... at least it didn't scar too bad.

I guess the moral of the story is DON'T LIGHT YOUR BALLS ON FIRE, IT'S NOT WORTH IT!!!!

Unauthorized Copying Is Prohibited. Ask the author first.

Published on Sunday, May 9, 2010. Filed under: "Comedy" and "Short Story"

Author's Note:

This is a true story. And that bitch never gave me my ten bucks.

Comments on "Great Balls of FYAH!!!"

A former member wrote: hehehehe i remember that...... i still owe you that ten bucks.......
On Wednesday, June 16, 2010, insideout (47) wrote:

Haaa! Awesome! Thanks for the chuckle :)
On Wednesday, June 16, 2010, Zyrnuvex (45) wrote:

I guess that beats my shaveing of the eyebrows huh?
On Monday, May 10, 2010, soldier (22) wrote:

lmfao, you are fuckin alright with me
A former member wrote: I've heard no pubes makes your package larger. Just trying to put a positive spin on it for ya.--Draven.
On Monday, May 10, 2010, HeadpatSlut (257) wrote:

So, Toby, nice to see you finally gave in and made in account. Try not to get banned for stupid shit, this is a place to be creative, not a douche bag.
On Monday, May 10, 2010, Dick_in_my_Ass (4) wrote:

I am not a douche bag! okay.... i am
A former member wrote: good point at the end. ~ hdb.
On Monday, May 10, 2010, ebonyamore (100) wrote:

odd...though i is not december I can hear nat king cole's voice right now. i'm not sure what the appropriate response to this piece would be...i'm pretty sure hysterical laughter isn't it but i'm gonna be honest and say I laughed at this. I'm really glad you weren't hurt too severely but I laughed at this.
A former member wrote: *is currently still laughing, tears rolling down my cheeks.* when I first read it the immediate thought that came into my head was, " I hope this guys name is richard, I really do. 'well dick set his balls on fire today,...geez, talk about hating thy neighbor...' " *currently looking for inhaler.* ~moonie (still can't breathe)
On Monday, May 10, 2010, ebonyamore (100) wrote:

lol..ok thank god i'm not the only one because really..lol. we've been in the chat singing 'chestnuts roasting on an open fire' and 'ring of fire' and....*giggles*
A former member wrote: lmdao oh my, this would be a way better public service announcement. "kids, don't do drugs, you'll set your balls on fire." hell I'd listen! haha you forgot no doubts start the fire.