i dropped a dove from a 5 story window to see it hit the ground

manual for homicide



i love You...
i wished i loved you...
i know You, but You don't know me...

i wish i knew you...
i wish i wasn't pressured into things...
i wish i knew what the hell i am doing...

i wish i knew what the hell i'm talking about...
but i've never been more convicted...
and i shouldn't even start on you...

cause i wouldn't know where to begin...
mostly cause i don't know anything about it (you)...
but i know everything about us...(the imaginary us)...

cause there's nothing to know...




*********************************************
the concrete melts like snow

more so realized
but only semi-conscious...

the first thing i want to remember
are the red leaves on the ground,
and the common cold of december.

and the night will unfold,
the two coming together.

and i can't tell which is further away
the lights of cars
or the haunting plague.

i can't tell which
is brighter tonight-
every drag you take
is a sunrise.

so breath me in-
a shapeless form-
a vapor of sin.

and the night will unfold,
the two coming together.

the first thing i want to remember
are the red leaves on the ground,
and the common cold of december.

you'll never know
what worried me most...



***************************************

it's only 2 a.m. (daydreamer untitled 3)

if i could reach the sunrise
i might not ever make it home.

but, the tank is already full
while the road is cold and alone.

maybe it's not too late, but
i've begun blowing away.

please don't ever let
me reach the sunrise

i swear to god, baby,
i will never make it home.

******************************************
whiskey lullaby 3 draft


7:24 p.m.-my house...alone...

"maybe it's true what they say,
that all good things come to an end.
but first, and i mean first,
all good things have to begin"

8:15 p.m.-car...together...

lovely, sing me something well!
how beautiful it is to die,
into the tracks of dreaming
(but no two dreams are alike)

9:48 p.m.-out...together

let us wander forth,
make love a vague regret!
let us wander forth,
so we might ne'er forget.

11:11 p.m.-smoking outside...together...

love wept through our pride,
and we drowned in hesitation.
two lives bound with such ease,
we'll give the world! (i'll disappear!)

12:37 a.m.-home, getting ready...

love forlorn
blown about with sighs
spoken words
signs of death arise.

12:38 a.m.-same

"maybe it's true what they say,
that all good things come to an end.
but first, and i mean first,
all good things have to begin"