Comments by TropicalSnowstorm
- "Anyway, that's just my two cents worth - it looks from the posting date that maybe you have set this one aside long enough to allow yourself to come back to it freshly. As I say, lovely piece! Ciao, T/S"
Posted by TropicalSnowstorm on "Ferverous Vagaries" by hate_doll
- "exploration of your relationship to other people (or a particular person) in a last stanza, where you explore physical limitations to the kind of soul to soul intimacy you are exploring in terms of your environment in the first section."
Posted by TropicalSnowstorm on "Ferverous Vagaries" by hate_doll
- "I love the word choices and imagery so much in the first section that I think it should end with something similar. So far, you covered "your temporal shell", "society" and it might be natural to end with an"
Posted by TropicalSnowstorm on "Ferverous Vagaries" by hate_doll
- "I think the section before the last two lines would serve well for a middle stanza, and hen the last two lines could start a new stanza of about the same length as the first one. "
Posted by TropicalSnowstorm on "Ferverous Vagaries" by hate_doll
- "This was a very beautiful vision with great imagery - I agree with your last statement, though...however, I don't think what you ended with is bad, so much as it just shouldn't be the end."
Posted by TropicalSnowstorm on "Ferverous Vagaries" by hate_doll
