Comments by Malcholm Dark
- "very cool, well done... good emotional content... I am going to throw some Ideas at you because you have the talent... change no to but, 1st line... run your pieces through a spell checker...
example, escapse... you do good work, write on "
Posted by Malcholm Dark on "beaten and bruised" by firecracker
- "nicely done, I enjoyed your use of the english language and the concrete syle . One thing, and its just me, in the second to the last line you made a refrence to "they". Please reply and let me know who they are."
Posted by Malcholm Dark on "The show" by firecracker
- "Your subject was very good. Although
your attempt to put it into words ended
up on the short end. It was a difficult
read because you forgot words.
Example: Desire conjures that which is worthwhile,,, you forgot 'that'
You tend to put a lot of ideas on one line, which is fine, Without the puncuation to seerate them the reader loses the full meaning of what you had to say.
I hope you don't think was being hard. I think the talent is there you just need a little help. fix it up and write-on."
Posted by Malcholm Dark on "Unknow" by firecracker
