Comments by All Members
- "Humm...I don't want to be "that" person but I feel this piece kinda tried too hard. There were several grammatical errors. I think it was meant to be especially creepy but I found it just sort of flat. Please don't take offense."
Posted by Lydia Jade on "Baby Doll" by darkheartmagic
- "Great writing! I just want you to highlight some errors you gave, for self-learning. Watch out for "Peacefull", "ungreatfull", it should be said "Peaceful" and "ungrateful". Hope you didn't mind, it is for the sake of self-learning.
Continue on the path of poetry"
Posted by Melancholic VIncent on "Silent Master" by darkheartmagic
- "Some great lines DHM; reduced to bed-wetting by the power of words, and emphasized with the deafening sound of silence. BTW - as you imply, our minds are the supreme torturers. She'll not be taking you home to meet her mother, sadly :)
Well done my friend! - Dan "
Posted by dwells on "Silent Master" by darkheartmagic
- "Thank you I'm working on a short story on this in five different poems I haunt posted any up yet because I'm having to fix the second on. But thank you for you comment hope soon to have them up."
Posted by darkheartmagic on "Baby Doll" by darkheartmagic
- "Wow, what a wonderful job with this... I know the feeling, I surround myself with people all of the time mostly because I don't want to be alone with my thoughts.... The silence kills. Great write :)"
Posted by Intoxicating Delirium on "Silent Master" by darkheartmagic
- "I particularly like the second stanza. It is a powerful metaphor that I relate closely to. This is well written but you did miss a couple spelling mistakes that in a few cases ...If I'm not wrong seem to change the meaning of the lines they are used in. A good spell checker that I use sometimes is spellcheck.net. it's super simple and you don't have to download anything to use it. I don't mean any offense I just thought maybe you didn't realize. :)"
Posted by Lydia Jade on "lies" by darkheartmagic
- "Thank you so much If it is detail that you are looking for you should try out my baby doll 2 I'd like to know what you think about it and thanks again for you comment"
Posted by darkheartmagic on "Baby Doll" by darkheartmagic
- "I cannot recall ever dismantling any of my dolls,, come to think of it...I don't recall having any... I was an unorthodox child of sort, really. Had an imagination and used it to write instead of physical play. I've got to say that this is a pretty intense read,, and I particularly love the mini flashback you jolted my brain into, which was unexpected. You have an knack for storytelling and an imagination the is unique; however, what draws me into the writer is the attention to detail. I would absolutely love more detail. I love the story, but was waiting a more dramatic climax. I say... Great piece, sir, and write on! Bows-Â "
Posted by soul_versing on "Baby Doll" by darkheartmagic
- "Those first two verses are stunning. We live and breathe the lies we weave :)~ Nice inking*"
Posted by blue angel on "lies" by darkheartmagic
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