Fourteen Years (and not another more)

yesterday you chose to leave
because no one never knew
and now, no one ever will.
you left us with crippled hearts,
frozen tears
and guilt heavier than gold.

i didn't even know.

now i wish i could ask
so many questions
i want to know your favorite color,
your biggest fear,
and the last thing you think about
before you fall asleep.

i didn't even know,
only a face.
now your absence
stirs my soul
and burns a hole
right through my heart.

and my thoughts just go on
because tomorrow doesn't exist.
not for you,
not for those whose lives
mean nothing without you in them.

and i can't help but think
that my life won't be the same
now that you aren't here
and we never even exchanged more
than a few glances
in the dark, depressing
narowness of those halls.

a friend of a friend of a...

i didn't even know.

i'm sorry that your heart
had felt so unchangeable
i'm sorry that your last thoughts
must have eaten your insides.

i tremble with frustration
and sadness for those you left behind.

those bruises on your neck
are proof enough
that sometimes we are given more
than we're strong enough to handle.




"Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the number of things that take our breath away."
this is dedicated to M.L.
i'll be seeing ya