lost (in life)

By Ocean of Truth

I can’t stand my life
You never really knew
I’m 18 and ready for the knife
Because I’m truly through
I’ve tried too hard, and worked too long
In the end everything is simply prolonged
Why not give up now and stop the fight
Because this is one of the shittiest nights
Sometimes I wonder if I can go on
Then I wake up the next day and put my work shoes on
I spend nearly every night in exile
Just simply hoping this’ll be worth the while
I walk aimlessly towards the burning light
Hoping to see something that looks normal, just right
In the end I find nearly nothing
And here I am again, looking for something
Shall I ever find what my life searches for
Or shall I always be looking at the door
My pride keeps me anchored, watching, waiting
But wait for what, some sign, some saint?
Maybe all I need to do is paint
Shall I ever know what I should have done?
Shouldn’t I just try and have fun?
When will I understand my life?
Am I going to have to find wife?
Or will the trip be my own
How shall I make it?
Will I ever be able to just take it?

Unauthorized Copying Is Prohibited. Ask the author first.
© 2006 Ocean of Truth
Published on Wednesday, September 27, 2006.     Filed under: "Depressed" and "Poetry"
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Comments on "lost (in life)"

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  • Malice In Wonderland On Thursday, December 7, 2006, Malice In Wonderland (976)By person wrote:

    I didn't like the way the paint line fit, but I liked the idea of this alot, I know the feeling exactly. Scholar

  • carlosjackal On Wednesday, September 27, 2006, carlosjackal (2787)By person wrote:

    First class poem, saying everything it needs to say, working, wondering, is this really what it means, to live at 18?

  • Aunty Depressant On Wednesday, September 27, 2006, Aunty Depressant (423)By person wrote:

    I believe many have made it and still feel this way...way after 18, and painting and fun are definitely apart of life that is not normal in my opinion. Most don't paint or have fun...I do! Ah, path contemplation!

  • Ocean of Truth On Monday, October 9, 2006, Ocean of Truth (43)By person wrote:

    that is partially the point of this, defining "normal" for oneself, its much harder than you would think

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