There was Nothing

He liked to talk about God
doing for him
what he could not do
for himself.

And apparently,
there was nothing he could do
for himself.

So, on that view,
God made all the decisions.

Which is why,
after he took off
and went
even more nuts,
it was because
God
wanted him
to smoke crack cocaine
and have his girlfriend beaten
and gangraped.

We didn't learn that until later,
of course,
after she showed back up,
talking about what had happened.

Of course, it wasn't but a few days
before you could see it
in her eyes
how much she missed him.

There was something
like a switch
inside of her
hat alwaus got flipped on
pretty much
as soon as the bruises faded
and the hair got washed.

I don't know if she liked being beaten
and whored,
but I know she liked the coke,
because it happened again.

And this time
when she came back,
they locked her
in a hospital for six weeks.

When we saw her after that
all she did was chain smoke
and talk
in a monotone,
about how she was done
once and for all
again.