how sick he was

We took him to the clinic
thinking he had an infection
and hoping we wouldn't have to fight
to just get some damn antibiotics

and the physician's assistant
who was the closest we'd get
to a real doctor
for awhile
thought it might be a good idea
to look at his piss
and disappeared
for ten minutes or so

only to return
and tell us
how sick he was

crazy thing though,
she sent us home
saying we'd need to come back
and get some lab work done
in a few days

which didn't seem right
me thinking she didn't know
her ass from a barrel bung
and she thinking he needed
something more
than a pat on the head
and more piss tests

So when my other friend
tested his sugars
and saw the numbers
and said we needed to go back
and gave us the number
for the endocrinologist
on call
we quickly found out
we were both right

Ten hours later
after he passed out
from exhaustion
and the plans were made
for the next few days
all I wanted to do
as I finally crawled
into my own bed
was get good and drunk
and make the spinning
belly pain stop

because that part of me
that is far less brave then he is
only thinks about
the dead calm nothingness
that comes
at the bottom
of a bottle of rum

when I woke up
the next morning
having done nothing
but sleep
along with the sorrow
and fear
I was
utterly
ashamed