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membership submission - The Pit of Her
By BlackBear
Singing, sighing, sinful, mournful life clandestine in dark woods.
Drunken, cloudy deep betrayal, trapped between could-not’s and should’s.
The choice before me and behind me, leading nowhere, erewhon.
Once loved, and lost, and loved-me-not; life like a feast of carrion.
A stain of light becomes a flame; binding, blazing, blinding; failing
Chained by her might, and darkling light, shreds of my soul lie quivering,
wailing.
Yet in her tintinnabulation, she breathes the very life of me.
Therefore, I follow, willing slave; in victimless insanity.
Unauthorized Copying Is Prohibited.
Ask the author first.
© 2006 BlackBear
Comments on "membership submission - The Pit of Her"
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A former member wrote:
[sigh] such a slicing surrealist.romanticist breath of life you are/pen.. . [and HOW did i miss your grand entrance??] you wirte with the decadence of thoreau shadowed like poe.... gorgeous ~ness
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A former member wrote:
Lovely and tragic. I love the assonance that runs though this piece in unexpected places. Great job.
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On Saturday, February 11, 2006, Crimson Shade
(92)
wrote:
Amazing write - i like this for the fact that even though it is weighty in the vocabulary department, it doesn't take anything away from the rhythm. This rolls effortlessly off the tongue and the content is coherent and linear -
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On Saturday, February 11, 2006, Crimson Shade
(92) wrote:
keep writing and i'll keep reading.
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On Friday, February 10, 2006, purr_verse
(1052) wrote:
Divine! Excellent vocab, beautifully wrought; I'm very picky about metre and the cadence here is extremely well done. I'm definitely looking forward to more postings from you.
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On Friday, February 10, 2006, BlackBear
(12) wrote:
My thanks, Julia. "What’s in a name? That which we call a rose / By any other name would smell as sweet" - W Shakespeare - Romeo & Juliet. My love, a rose, has thorns, and bits of bramble in her heart.
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On Friday, February 10, 2006, TaintedButterfly
(653) wrote:
Wow... I must say, this is definitely a great submission! Eloquent, sadly torn apart yet yearning love and to be loved. Great job!!! Julia~ and welcome to DP! =)
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