No More Point To Prove

Judge me again
And normally I get pissed
Just like you would
But this time I’m sad
Because to an extent I know you are right
But you do not see the truth to it all
You just think I am a bad person
When I do everything in my power always to please you
You act like I never tried to work things out with my parents
But things happen
And I stray away
You have as well before
But you accuse me of such crime
I go out of my way after being alone for three days
Walking to visit friends
Seeing if they are ok
My relationship is no good with my parents
Mom defends dad when he is unreasonable
I do not like to talk about it either
But the ones who know me know the truth
Kills me you cannot see this
I do not even know how I could love someone
When they just truly cannot see
Something that has nothing to do with you
And everything to do with me
Something this stupid tearing you away from me
Perhaps this is a sign
It is just not meant to be
Everyone needs their release from things
As do you

Fighting over things that should not be discussed
Things I know will make us tense
I want to stray away
But you insist upon it
And it truly makes me sick

It is clear what we had is gone
Why do you not at least care?

Why can you not understand
Why must you judge me
You know deep down inside I would never judge you
You think I have something to prove
You are right
Although I hate to admit it
I did have something to prove
I thought eventually through time
Things would become better
And people would be able to see
Why I spend the time I do with you
I even express it to others
And the feelings are definitely returned
I was wrong
You do not love me
So I no longer have something to prove
If I was selfish I could not love anyone but myself
But I love you more than anything
Now I just want to give up
All I ever did was love you
And now I know it is just not true
Post away about how bad a person I am
Post about all the wrongs I have done and already apologized for
Scar my name for life
Take my friends away from me and talk to them about me
Go behind my back
You have done it all before but I never cared
Because I knew you loved me deep inside
However I have no more reason to believe
Always the same conclusions
Losing all hope
Feel bad you should not
You have no reason to
You think this is what it is about
But you never see the deeper meaning
Of the feelings I had for you
What good are they if I cannot talk to you
Apparently you do not even care if I want to come see you
You just do not love me
You never can love me
Love me…
Love me…
Love

(Perhaps maybe I just do not want to be alone
maybe it is not even so much the tension with my parents
Dad has been a pain in the ass
However, I have ignored lately and learned to deal
Bonding with mom, being civil with dad
We even all played a family game earlier in the week
But never do they really sit down and just be with me
No company
And me being stuck in a pitch black room
Having restless nights and nobody to talk to either
A personal fear that should be obvious
I fear being alone, company wise and relationship wise)

You only call lately to talk all about you
or something wrong
And if not that then it is a fight
Always afraid of what we happen between us
Each and every time I pick up your call




All these years
If you have any respect for me at all
Answer me this
What was it all for?