Losing The Will To Live

Yet again
I let it take over
a part of me
I had not seen
for a very long time

What has become of me?

A sudden desire to die
because who you think cares
could really care less
and the ones who do care
they do not care enough
or are never around when you need them

What has become of me?

The darkness drags me down
and once again I have fallen
become weak and fragile

What has become of me?

Sudden past desires returning back
instead I supress my anger
as I breathe into my pillow
until a point I turn red

What has become of me?

I stop short of breath
and I accept defeat
but for what exactly
to satisfy one who cannot be satisfied
you say you care
but why this?

I support you in every way
yet you feel the need to do this
I do not want to feel this way anymore

I have a plan
I have a life
I refuse to be an inactive person
but everything takes times
time which slowly kills me
because every now and then I realize
that I am not where I want to be

Sometimes unsure of myself
but I know I am on the right track
but I have no desire to be pushed

I have no desire to talk about this
not with parents
not with friends
nobody but myself
because in the end I believe I will be alone anyhow

Perhaps I am insecure with my future?
what does it matter to you?
I have already cried
and a new desire to die

What will become of I?