My Self-Destructive Pattern

The days continue on
and as do I
while oppertunities pass me by
day by day
I can only sit and watch
why can I not act?
why do I not act?
perhaps these actions uncontrollable
perhaps cannot be done at the present time
but seeing myself not succeed is unacceptable
so goddamn pathetic

Odio verme ir
(I hate to see myself go)
pero se parece que ha venido mi tiempo
(but it seems my time has come)
el intentar fijarse libre
(seeking to set myself free)
pero ahogándose en mi infierno eterno
(but drowning in my eternal hell)

So I try and try over again
to be happy with myself
but it just does not seem to happen
how can one please oneself
I for one just do not know
so I pray...

perdóneme que padre para mí tengo sinned
(forgive me father for I have sinned)

I ask not to live longer
but to live in happiness
and my self-destructive pattern continues
as I cannot fullfill this dream