A Resentful Hue of Red

By Revolting Theatre

A frightened 10 year old boy lies thirty feet from the door.
Another little boy has taken his knee and pushed this boy's head harder into the floor.
The room changes into a soft hue of resentful red.
What had the boy done? What had he said?

Further more why does it hurt so much?
Is he thinking so hard that he's lost his sense of touch?
And why can't he move his arm, he wonders,
As the grief wrought carpet starts to leave blisters.

"Say you're a faggot!" Steven Doss said from above.
"No! I'm not gay! Get off of me!" replied the boy who couldn't get up.
Steven's friends took turns watching spit fall from their mouths,
Landing in the helpless eyes and ears of a the boy who was too proud.

Too proud to humiliate himself, the pain tasted better.
"What pain?" he thought as Steven covered the boys mouth with a sweater.
"Aw he's crying." Kids can be so fucking cruel.
The young boy knew now that the kid with more friends makes up their own golden rule.

"Is it true you moved here because your Dad slept with a hooker?"
The boy didn't know you could be punished for the sins of your father.
"Say you're a faggot!" Steven pressed much harder this time.
But the boy could not respond, his breath became blue and fine.

The boy dreamed well on that afterschool snack.
He never told mom why he didn't want to go back.
And it's a shame that no one ever said a word about that day again.
Not even an apology, to a passed out 10 year old who had commited no sin.

Second days of school, are always the worst.
At least you can pretend your someone else on the first.
To today this boy has often wondered why,
When steven talked to other boys, he never made them cry.

The boy said he was sick, thats why he passed out.
The bruises on his neck were from playing outside, who was he to pout?
He never made a friend that year. No one knew the truth.
"This is who I am?" he thought. Now he hates his youth.


Don't feel sorry for the kid.
What's done is done.
The only thing I regret.
Is that I couldn't get up.

I tried so hard to stand up.
I tried so hard.
I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.
This is who I am.

Unauthorized Copying Is Prohibited. Ask the author first.
Copyright 2004 Josh Mullen
Published on Monday, October 4, 2004.     Filed under: "Poetry"
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Comments on "A Resentful Hue of Red"

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  • FlowMyTears On Wednesday, July 15, 2020, FlowMyTears (45)By person wrote:

    Good stuff, it's not easy to parse out trauma like that.

  • glasshouse On Wednesday, November 3, 2004, glasshouse (568)By person wrote:

    Wow... this was WRENCHING. I couldnt peel my eyes away... like watching a car crash. Oh my have I been here. Very hurtful piece. Very honest. I'm impressed. -Glass

  • Lotophagi On Friday, October 22, 2004, Lotophagi (341)By person wrote:

    beautifully crafted, heart-wrenching doesn't express it... I don't know how to reply, thank you.

  • Six-Out On Wednesday, October 20, 2004, Six-Out (1481)By person wrote:

    I read this damn near a month ago, and never commented. I don't know why. Maybe it hits a little too close to home, maybe because I felt it a little too much. Either way, I'm in awe.

  • FlowMyTears On Wednesday, July 15, 2020, FlowMyTears (45)By person wrote:

    yeah practically all of us have shitty stories of stuff like that from school :-/

  • Solace On Wednesday, October 6, 2004, Solace (1081)By person wrote:

    This garners my respect for you...I'd love to give some one liner saying, some profound thought, but it means nothing in the face of this...

  • A former member wrote: I can't find the words to express how close to home this is...you utterly amaze me.

  • A former member wrote: ....

  • Zhee On Monday, October 4, 2004, Zhee (539)By person wrote:

    this was so painful... cruelty wears such innocent disguises...

  • Rachel On Monday, October 4, 2004, Rachel (268)By person wrote:

    You're standing now and you don't even realize it.

  • elisa On Monday, October 4, 2004, elisa (1637)By person wrote:

    i lived your childhood...just with blonde ringlet hair....i was quiet and 'smart' with a bad home life so i was destine to be bullied I guess...(?) i felt this JOSH:) elisa

  • Angst Queen On Monday, October 4, 2004, Angst Queen (372)By person wrote:

    omg...children are really cruel, getting up is the hardest part at times. this was almost enough to make me cry, Revolting ::hugs you::

  • Seraphic On Monday, October 4, 2004, Seraphic (237)By person wrote:

    that ending, wow...I tried to get up, I was never physically beaten, but I tried just as hard not to cry. Children are unbelievable in every way I can think of...incredibly hardhitting...great write *~seraph~*

  • A former member wrote: woah...what more can i say...you have a true talent in this....im very much inpressed for whatever that is worth

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