Insomnia has grabbed hold of me again
and i can't quit procrastinating long enough to tie my damn shoes so i sit here in my chair thinking i need to sleep then it hits me this is the same thing i did last night and the night before
ignorance has turned me into the kind of person i hate so i am ignoring myself and slipping in to an emptiness that cant be discribed because it is so fucking empty
i like this girl she ignores me but i have to find something to hold on to in order to be pulled from the emptiness
i have to wake up in a couple hours so i can go to work on time... stupid job... lowsy hours... but the pay is good
i want to quit smoking but it stresses me out thinking of quitting so i start smoking more i'm up to a pack and a half a day now and i'm only 17
my parents are out of town so i eat icecream for breakfast and let the dishes pile up while the trash is stinking up the house and the beer cans and wiskey bottles are piling up... literaly
i'm realizing what i do doesn't matter and the only thing i accomplish by making something of myself is making everyone but me proud so why bother if i am moving out in a few weeks anyway
i started using again the old stuff and some new i don't want to i mostly get talked into it when i am drunk and have little or no will power not to they make me think more about everything
so this girl shes exactly the personality i would like to get to know more but she doesn't return my calls... maybe i should take a hint and stop calling but i really want to talk to her some more
well this isn't poetry so its time to copy paste into the rants
oh yeah talk to me anyone please about anything you want