awake
in bed
thinking about you
but looking at a picture
of the girl i was with before you

i see her & i at a dance
posing for over-priced pictures
when i try to remember it vividly
i can’t
can’t remember even being there
all i have is this 3” x 4” pic
to prove it ever happened

when i lost that girl
i fell so far
& felt so goddamn hurt
this was fall 2001
now it’s spring 2004
& i look at her
& feel nothing

i don’t remember what her hair smelled like
i can’t remember the feel of her kiss
all i know is that i don’t know
anything about what it used to be like

so i’m up with you in my head
wondering if in three years
i’ll look at a picture of you
& feel nothing

as i lie here in bed
i am wishing for the pain to stop
i’d give so much for it to go away
although, truthfully
i’d rather wish for you
lying here beside me
the scent of your hair in my nostrils
& the feel of your kiss
on my lips