solitudes desire

my seclusion is shaded from the sun of solitude,
shaded by a heart that grows fond of people.
yet i have no time with people,
no desire to leave this den of lonliness.
this familiar facade,
this front of self-deception.

that which is the soul of me,
that part has been divided,
has been carried away.
the part that remains is shielded here.
protected from people,
placed here amoung books and papers.

no,it is not love or people i seek.
the piece of soul that remains seeks pleasure.
there is no soul left for emotional surrender,
no wordy exchange,not pursuit on higher levels.
the soul in me longs for lust,
my dearest desire is to face an opposite facade.

like an addict who craves a drug,
i long for the numbness of another near.
no questions asked,no answers given.
neither reality beyond the moment sought.
only that basic need to surrender,
to recover but a part of that hidden self.

uncovered indeed,not in word or promise.
uncovered but for a shameless second.
the soul seeks flesh behind a wall.
i give freely and take selfishly.
no,uncovered only,not surrendered,
sancturary in a movement lasting only a moment.