Hope

His face, his eyes
Filled with pain and hurt
Is all I see
As I try to sleep
"You stupid ass bitch!"
My own voice screams at me
"Look what you've done!
You're not gonna get a second change this time"
I know I've hurt him
I know I've hurt him before
Why?
"You're fucked up, that's why"
Why doesn't the darkness kill me?
Why doesn't the night stop my breathing"
He wouldn't hurt so much
If I was dead, I'm sure
He wouldn't cry
Tears filled with agony
If he was free of me
One shot to the head
One knife to the wrist
It'd all be over
And he wouldn't hurt so much
"You're killing him with your love
If you can call it love..."
I've tried my hardest
My best
But it's not good enough
Somehow I knew it wouldn't be
I'm not good enough
He deserves better, way better
I'm not good enough for him
I'm not good enough for the world
I'm not good enough for life
And no more tears will come
I'm not even good enough for that
I'd be doing everyone a favour
Laying in a coffin
I've been suicidal before
But this is different
I dun wanna die
I just wish I were dead
"You're too chicken to kill yourself"
Hope keeps me alive
Hope that He'll love me still
Though I don't see how
Hope that he won't leave me
He'd be crazy if he didn't
Just hope of getting through the night