Detachment

Why do feelings of detachment invade me now?
When I should be the most comfortable with my friends
But I look at them and don't see myself reflected back
I see a strangeness about them all
Or maybe it's just me that's strange
I wear their clothes
I agree with their ideas
All with an easiness that's not my own
Although my true thoughts never coincide with theirs
So why call them friends when I don't feel part of them?
Because I'm too afraid to say I have no friends at all
True or false?
I really don't know
Maybe I need them as a safety net
To catch me if I fall
...I don't plan on falling...
Maybe I need them for comfort
...A lot of times I feel uncomfortable around them...
Maybe I need them to make me feel good about myself
...I see them as superiors to me...
Or maybe I don't need them at all
They just happen to be there
And I'm thrown in the midst of them
So what's the point?
Why can't I fully withdraw into myself?
Because I know I wouldn't be able to pull myself back out again
My true fear
Being trapped inside myself