By vamp_111

i feel alone.
i think to much.
i daydream to much.
i feel scared.
i am filled with nostalgia.
i want to go back.
and fix everything.
but i know thats not possible.
i still have to live in this dream....

the walls in my room are going to swallow me whole, along with all my feelings of guilt and resentment.  my door slams shut, everything starts to cave in, i cant breath... everything spins... everything is dark... i wake up in blank room, baby pink walls, and a white door.  desperate to get out, i open the door, falling into a pit of black, everything is still.  and quiet.  and nothing seems to make any goddamn sence, when i find myself sitting on a white floor.  a soft, comforting voice speaks to me in a way so calming..."get up", it whispers.  "get up and keep going.", i do as i am told.  for days, i walk, walk through hallways, and doors, hoping to find something...nothing.  i arive to yet another door only this time, the door is crystal clear, yet i couldn't see the other side.  i open it and walk into a room full of tree's and bushes, curling into a ball, as they whisper the names of all the fallen children, and all the lost souls.  a strong wind starts, shaking them till their demise, ripping them, branch by branch, leaf by leaf, i cry, and hold myself tighter on the floor, when it all suddenly stops.  and i find myself in the middle of a desert, the skeletons of the tree's and bushes still standing as the dust rises into the air, the sensation burns my eyes as i fearfully stand up and keep walking, and walking, and walking untill i cross with my own self.  her aperance was different, tired with big black bags under her eyes, her hair partially in her face, bushy, messy and tangled, her face pale, her body skinny covered with cuts and ink.  she stares at me as i stare at her.  and she smiles.  she reaches for my hands, her's are cold, and dry...

i wake up in my room, once again, gasping for air, my body freezing, and hands almost blue...

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Copyright 2019 vamp_111
Published on Saturday, August 31, 2019.     Filed under: "Reflective" and
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  • sadistic intent hex On Sunday, September 1, 2019, sadistic intent hex (222)By person wrote:

    I can feel the complete lonely feeling In the but still feel that you are searching for that deeper meaning could be wrong. love the part of her body skinny and covered in ink . also the reference to the crystal door clear but cannot see thru. loved it...

  • vamp_111 On Saturday, August 31, 2019, vamp_111 (41)By person wrote:

    thank you!

  • Hope in despair On Saturday, August 31, 2019, Hope in despair (129)By person wrote:

    A very true feeling of loneliness. Very real. I look at myself now and the ideals that I once held important and dear, and how I lost hold of those. Of how I said there was things I would never do, and lines I would never cross, but I did those things and crossed those lines. This is a great piece! That is what I really like about works like this is that even though you wrote this Vamp, I can see something personal of my self in it and it becomes personal to me in a sense even though I didn't write it. Well done!

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