mirror

honestly,
i feel alone.
i think to much.
i daydream to much.
i feel scared.
i am filled with nostalgia.
i want to go back.
and fix everything.
but i know thats not possible.
i still have to live in this dream....

the walls in my room are going to swallow me whole, along with all my feelings of guilt and resentment.  my door slams shut, everything starts to cave in, i cant breath... everything spins... everything is dark... i wake up in blank room, baby pink walls, and a white door.  desperate to get out, i open the door, falling into a pit of black, everything is still.  and quiet.  and nothing seems to make any goddamn sence, when i find myself sitting on a white floor.  a soft, comforting voice speaks to me in a way so calming..."get up", it whispers.  "get up and keep going.", i do as i am told.  for days, i walk, walk through hallways, and doors, hoping to find something...nothing.  i arive to yet another door only this time, the door is crystal clear, yet i couldn't see the other side.  i open it and walk into a room full of tree's and bushes, curling into a ball, as they whisper the names of all the fallen children, and all the lost souls.  a strong wind starts, shaking them till their demise, ripping them, branch by branch, leaf by leaf, i cry, and hold myself tighter on the floor, when it all suddenly stops.  and i find myself in the middle of a desert, the skeletons of the tree's and bushes still standing as the dust rises into the air, the sensation burns my eyes as i fearfully stand up and keep walking, and walking, and walking untill i cross with my own self.  her aperance was different, tired with big black bags under her eyes, her hair partially in her face, bushy, messy and tangled, her face pale, her body skinny covered with cuts and ink.  she stares at me as i stare at her.  and she smiles.  she reaches for my hands, her's are cold, and dry...


i wake up in my room, once again, gasping for air, my body freezing, and hands almost blue...