under dark suns

there is nothing in existence I can satisfy  
there is no kind of persistence that can pacify  
this constant need for more  
or restore the person i once was before  
there are no options - there is no substitute  
for a soul unable to execute  
anything, nothing without pain  
yet through the suffering I remain  
to continue the struggling-to feel the strain  
carrying round this weight on my brain  
it all being same, forever and unending  
my grief's looking like a ball and chain 
in the light under saturn's ascending  
the stars brighten as the moon wanes  
to warn of the darkness impending