The reasons of my smile- PART III

She's praying in a linen closet
at China Beach,
the barrel smoking 
from the .45 standard issue,
and the General is dead.

Evelyn McGuire, 
1st lieutenant Nurse Corp member,
can't kill herself
as the pistol has no effect.

Her hand it clutches 
the secret dispatches;
To end the Vietnam War,
But they will never arrive-

It was so easy,
his guard stabbed with ease,
she thought about all the General
told her the night 
he seduced her;
a master plan,
assured to be liked by all
(Still praying she pulls out
a lighter and watches it burn).

Tears are falling,
She looks up to God...

"Foolish man, why didn't 
you copy it or tell your staff?
The dark one speaks to me
and it never stops,
murmurs of destinies,
I must stop-
he whispers,
he laughs at me,
he makes me live forever"

It hurts and I feel...
(invisible)

I stand and I stroll 
past running soldiers,
A trance I can control
for 
I
Am
Damned
(the 5-pointed empowering
like the star I must see, for:
Invisibility.

I register its calling 
and hate it so:
levitation,
healing,
strength
and a slap in god's face...
walking on water)

I'm on the last chopper
out of Saigon;
I could so easily 
make it crash;

(and maybe I'd die)

but the CIA man
across from me
is possessed 
and is watching me;
The horrors I'll feel
if I try...
I won't attempt it,
this time...