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I'm a Cute Girl
By TornPieces
Comb your hair
Brush your teeth
Close the mirror
Look how neat..
Get your bag
Go to school
Smile as the flies
crawl out of
out of your eyes
sink into your feet
English class...
sit down and write write
and write.
Raise your hand
as your daddy bites
into your thoughts
"Yes? Do you know the answer?"
Robotically answer,
sores that canker
the blood seeps down your throat
"The answer is 3...."
You get up,
"bathroom" as you start to float
Nobody knows
Nobody knows
The rotting
on your shiny bow
your white little teeth
hehe, right underneath
devious hands
right underneath
adoring fans
to the body of
the sultry love
of misunderstood cries
not horrible, but lies
that birth in nods over
pleasant dinners
with apple pies
Happy faces
Winning races
You're so cute.
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Copyright 2013 TornPieces
Comments on "I'm a Cute Girl "
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A former member wrote:
Appearances are deceiving, that's for certain, but is it fear, or shame? that makes you hide it? Or maybe something else all together, this poem made me ask the same question to myself, great write.
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On Saturday, May 25, 2013, dwells
(4284)
wrote:
The daddy bit was telling, and looms large in my mind. A stark and unsettling story, right underneath your teeth? Pondering rot or choking perhaps, most enigmatic, and cheers!
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On Saturday, May 25, 2013, Electric-Chair
(122) wrote:
behind the flawless smile is a broken soul. love this very much
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A former member wrote:
First: "Your" in the last line should be "You're".
Anyway, this was amazing. The fragmented structure of the piece reflects on its meaning, the broken girl masquerading as a healthy child. I love the mixture of darkness and "normal" things, especially the image of flies crawling out of her eyes. The only part I didn't really understand was about her having fans and winning races; I thought from the beginning that she was just a normal young girl who went to school and stuff...? Anyway, fantastic write- Write on ~cheryl
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On Saturday, May 25, 2013, TornPieces
(27) wrote:
The adoring fans are all the hands that touch her...they are many. The races are every day, winning a race for normalcy....always being perfect. Nobody ever noticing. You hit it right where it meant. Thank you for correcting me on that too. Thanks for commenting guys :) All comments are so helpful and encouraging to me ~Torn
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On Saturday, May 25, 2013, Fallenfromgrace
(104) wrote:
This spoke volumes to me. I very much enjoyed the last paragraph there. "Of misunderstood cries not horrible, but lies that birth in nods over pleasant dinners with apple pies." That's gonna stick with me for awhile. :) 10/10
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On Saturday, May 25, 2013, TornPieces
(27) wrote:
Its very much from my stream of consciousness, what I write sometimes. I'm glad that the thought will stick with you, I t impacts me the same, as if I didn't write it lol
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