If I had a million dollars

If I had a million dollars
I know exactly what I'd do.
I hire a detective.
Put an APB on you. 

I know I'd find you someday.
Not that big of a task.
I'd wake up every Sunday.
Drag myself to church and ask

a god I cannot see
to please show me the way.
Praise His name.
Pay the fee.
Get on my knees and pray.

"God...

If you could just see fit,
your humblest of callers
needs your loving help to wit:
I need a million dollars".

But God's a busy guy.
The keeper of the herd.
How patiently I watch the sky.
He's never said a word.

Can't say I didn't try.
(I felt like such a jerk) 
That I even bothered, why?
I knew that wouldn't work.

BUT..

It helped me see the light.
It's luminosity
made everything so bright
that even I could see

that when I had a million dollars
you found me the first day.
When I sported dirty collars
you took your leave, with pay.

It's a fact of life I guess.
Sad, but oh so true.
If I had a million dollars.
I wouldn't have to look for you.