If only I see it - Is it still beautiful?
By Adam
The open beach, the sand in your toes - without them, its all mud
The blue sky, the bright warm sun on your body - they’re not
there, it's grey and cloudy
The vast clear view from the
top of a mountain - You can’t see them, there is no view
How do you see someone if you are blind?
How do you find the sun if it is always grey?
How do you
walk though the sand, if all you can find is mud?
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Copyright 2011 Adaml
Published on Sunday, November 6, 2011.
Filed under:
"Poetry"
Author's Note:
A work in progress, will re-submit final draft if I ever make one.Comments on "If only I see it - Is it still beautiful? "
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A former member wrote:
I really like the last three lines because I've always found it interesting to end a poem with a question. Sometimes, the poet leaves a question that needs to be answered by the poet themselves in order for it to make sense. But others are thought provoking for the reader to think about in their head. They're commonly mixed up but you did what I believe is write. (Not that there's a wrong) The only revision comments I have would be in line 1 and 2, you use the word "its" when it should be "it's." Anyway, I loved this. Favorite line is, "How do you find the sun if it is always grey?"
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On Sunday, November 6, 2011, rosemaiden
(180) wrote:
wow if this just a work in progress i can hardly wait for the finished peice.....beautiful