Memory

 I hold on to a memory
Little fireflies in a net
It is warmth...
...it is happiness, glowing heart 
... a yearning to jump back....
-into space, into time, into light.
For a second it breathes,
the eternal magnificent mystical being: 
memory. 
Then, then it becomes blurry,
scintillating light dies and it is
...a recollection
It is distant, fuzzy, tears,
loss, the unsaid, untold, words
anger
it is just a picture or name to paper,
a letter, a promise echoing in the subconscious
it is a place, a song (former heart that beats and dies)
it is a smell, one tiny detail
it is a colour, the rain...
the moments flash in front of my eyes, so...
out of focus,
But I know the details of the conversations
The ones that hurts, the one that stays engraved
The pain, the laughter, the girly talks
The cynical comments, teasing- friendship
Friends now ghosts
The room filled by spectres, voices, faces
Ghosts as mentioned
But the funny times stays
Till their betrayal is worth just a shrug
And the poisons of ill actions are just lessons.
Deception by others was just a barrier, but now
Are on the list of achievement for overcoming them,
And those that I cared about,
Those that I loved and lost,
Those I was wrong about,
It all does not matter
Nothing does
Because for that little twinkling in time
The fireflies bat their tiny wings wanting to fly high and free
As they struggle to shine in beauty and survival.
Those are my memories
They flutter softly, out of breath in front of my batting eyelashes
And they are just so-
                                     unspeakably beautiful