Waking Up Next To You

When I wake after a night with you, by your side, I feel alone.
My king I was your queen and now I’ve been dethroned.
With cold eyes I watch and resent you.
Thinking of all the times I bid you adieu
Simply to crawl to the tip of your bed and whimper for you to love me.
Ending the battle with my conscience- we agree to disagree.

Every kiss received numbed my senses of being demeaned..
You truly made me feel as though I was your queen.
As I sleepwalk closer to reality everything becomes clear.
My river of emotions comes out in the form of a single tear.
The ocean of flames in my mind regrets drinking the shots of bittersweet illusions
What made my perception of what I wanted become clouded with confusion?

Here I lay next to you holding back tears
Wanting to stop time to avoid facing my fears.
The awkward silence that crushes my heart lasts to long
I’ll be tracing my steps back to where I went wrong
A remembrance of when you were lost in a tall grass
Now I am lost... searching for the past.

Wake up and try to catch a glimpse of me out of the corner of your eye.
Keep watching in awe. I’m leaving. Goodbye.
I’ve finally broken free from your chain
that was once kept together by my helpless nights and pain.
If I’m gone, why am I still laying next to you?
Sinking into this bed and stuck like glue...

Why can I not find the strength to lock you away in the darkest place in my mind?
Why is it I cant see what is happening to me, I’m not blind.
This pattern I’ve created for my life- being the bird trained to fly away.
The sad and lonely bird that returns the next day.
Even when I devote my days trying to find a love that is true,
Why is it that I still find myself... waking up next to you?