Confessions of a Pen

Pen to paper,
My dear friend.
You know that I, only pretend.
To have the answers
To know the lines,
To make others think
They know my mind.

Smile, and lie
Say so sweet...
All the things they want
To make things neat.
Neat and tidy
That's the way.
They'll never know
That what they say...
Breaks my heart,
Kills my soul,
Takes away
All that I uphold.

Passions taken,
Childhood stolen,
Look and see
Why I'm beholden
Tears I cry that make no sound,
Tear away all that's bound
Away; so deep and true
What's left, is but a shell
For all to view

Pen, take flight
Soar to the light...
Tell, what is real,
The why and the how.
What I feel--
Trapped up inside
As if I say it
That I might die,
Or hurt someone,
I love so deep
Who in our room,
Now lies in sleep.

Pen, cry my tears,
Ink, flow so smooth
That it may take away
All that's cruel.
That hurts and lives
Within my chest.
So now too I am put to test.
Feel these words
Like blood that flows
Inside, only I know.
Bite my tongue
Pray, bite my tongue.
That I shall not tell
These pages that send
me to hell.

As I wrote --uttered from my lips

"Oh God I hurt"
Came shouting out!
Let it be said
The pen just slipped ,
The ink just bled.

I never spoke it,
Never said.
But hid it here in simple quotes
'Cause...
Pen wrote the words
I cannot say.
I cannot--
At least not for today.