ragdoll at sea

i hate this
feeling of isolation,
it's strangling me.
i'm drowning,
like a seabird caught
in the beautifully
treacherous seafoam.
thrashing
--
it's not helping
--
i can't reach
solid land.
and the lightning,
it's mocking me,
shining in it's
brilliance;
taunting.
i don't know,
i can't decide,
i'm torn
and it's breaking me,
i've turned into
a ragdoll.
controlled by
a logic that
i've never understood.